Reflections
by Windmere
Summary: As Dumbledore leaves Hogwarts, he finds his old diary again and becomes swept back into his old romance...


Reflections

A/N: The girl's name is pronounced like _sigh-ra._

"I'll miss you, Hogwarts," Albus Dumbledore whispered as he turned in the doorway to look back at his old and comfortable office for the last time. Fawkes settled on his shoulder, his magnificent plumage brushing the doorframe slightly.

A small, leather bound book caught his eye as he turned away. It was nearly out of sight in the corner, covered with dust. A small and rather tattered leather tie was fastened loosely around it.

Slowly, he set down his trunk and Fawkes fluttered off of his shoulder. Dumbledore knew that book, although he'd temporarily forgotten about it. It hadn't been read in so longso long. It had been so long

His callused fingers found their way to the tie, softly unwinding it from around the old book. He paused for a moment, trying to remember the spell that would yield to him the words written long ago. When he himself had been a boy at Hogwarts

The words returned to him in a cascade of memories and the little book that told such a grand story cracked open to the first page.

_September First, 1920_

_Hogwarts is the most wonderful and amazing castle I've ever seen. Pieter is as starstruck as much as myself, if not more. I know that, someday, if not already, I'll have a very special connection with this castle._

_Pieter was extremely nervous about the Sorting hat, but I didn't feel that uneasy. I already felt that, wherever I belonged, it would be right. The Sorting hat's never been wrong. Pieter and I were both sorted into Gryffindor, the house of the brave._

_I've already met all the people in first year in my House. They all seem very nice and I'm already looking forward to lessons tomorrow. The feast was delicious and Professor Bayne, the Headmaster, made a nice speech at the beginning._

_Pieter is rather frightened, and I have the feeling that he barely squeaked into Gryffindor. He sat on the stool with the Sorting hat on for the longest time._

_As it is rather late and everyone else in my House is asleep, I think that I will try to go to sleep as well_

Dumbledore smiled fondly as he read his first entry once again. He had been so right, that first day. A special connection with the castle had certainly come to be

_December Seventeenth, 1920_

_As I look out the window and write tonight, I can see the moon and all the stars falling like the tears of a phoenix. Stars have always reminded me of Sairaher smooth, blonde hairher sparkling emerald eyesher rosy cheeks_

_I feel a dull ache in my chest as I think about hermy true love. Her name is so beautiful - Saira. She is so beautiful and kind and I know that I've been in love with her for the longest time._

_The trees swaying in the wind, the water softly lapping the edge of the lake, the stars shimmering in the night - all of these things bring up my swirl of feelings that I can't explain. Sometimes I get the feeling that she likes me too, but it's so hard to tell when I'm drowning in my feelings for her._

_Saira Goldwood - her name always sparks my interest when people talk about her. She's a good student, I know - I've worked alongside her many a time in Potions. I savor the moments when her hand brushes mine when we both reach for the same ingredient, or when she smiles at me between classes._

_I imagine her smiling and laughing with me, our hands clasping softly together and the space between us closes, kissing beneath the velvet sky and the sparkling tears of the phoenix_

Hot tears welled up in Dumbledore's eyes. He remembered Saira well, oh yes. He remembered that night, sitting by the window, feeling the soft breeze on his cheeks as a single tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of her

_February Fourteenth, 1921_

_Valentine's Day. But it's bittersweet for me. Saira has so many admirers, how would she like me? The tall boy with auburn hair, compared to all the dark, good-looking guys._

_I received two valentines, she received a million. One of them was from Elaine, but we've been friends forever. The other one - I don't know who it was from, but it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care. The only one who can take my heart is Saira._

_In Potions, Professor Ermine showed us how to mix a love potion. I was tempted to take it from her and give it to Saira - but I wouldn't ever really. I wouldn't want that type of forced love - only true love is what I care about. From Saira_

A slow tear trickled down his cheek and the stiff parchment fluttered in his fingers as he turned page after page. His heart was melting all over again

_December Twenty-Second, 1921_

_Although we have a Christmas dance, I don't know if I want to go anymore. Saira has already agreed to go with Raoul. I resent his luckiness secretly, but he is very nice so I can't loathe him too much. Not when he's won over Saira's heart_

_She has looked so sad these days. Perhaps it's because Professor Ermine has assigned us a very long Potions paper. Or because life is too much to bear, she can't take any more._

_I asked Elaine to go to the dance with me, for lack of anyone else to go with. She agreed courteously and I was very relieved._

_December Twenty-Fourth, 1921_

_I wore my red dress robes tonight. Elaine looked very pretty in light blue, but she was nothing compared to Saira._

_There is no way to describe how gorgeous she looked tonight. Her robes were light emerald and her hair was plaited down her back, tied back with a golden rope. My breath caught in my throat when I saw her and I sunk further in love with her._

_Raoul's jaw dropped when he saw her waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He is so fortunate to be taking her. She just smiled faintly when she saw him, though._

_I danced the first dance with Elaine, embarrassing myself by treading on her toes more than once. After that, we split off, she going to dance two dances with Pieter and I going to sit by the wall._

_I was in ecstasy for three minutes. Seventh heaven, as some might call it. Saira asked me to dance. I jumped eagerly to my feet and took her in my arms. It was like floating on a dream cloud as we whirled around the dance floor._

_It was only Saira and I, in each other's arms, our eyes locked together as we moved across the floor. I wanted it to go on for eternity as she laid her head down on my shoulder, a tendril of her blonde hair drifting down past her face_

Dumbledore's finger traced her name across the page and a soft trace of the song drifted across his mind. He remembered her lock of wavy hair brushing his cheek and her shining green eyes

_May Twenty-Ninth, 1924_

_I walked across the grass, already wet with dew towards the Forbidden Forest. I wasn't supposed to be out at night, but the stars drew me to the edge of the lake._

_I thrust my hands deep into the pockets of my robe, shivering in the cool breeze. The stars were glowing brightly in the night sky and the moon was full._

_I heard a soft footstep behind me but I didn't turn around. It didn't really matter to me anymore, what happened._

_Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the wavy blonde hair and the shimmering green eyes gazing up at the moon beside me. She smiled softly and turned to glance at me._

_I suddenly felt warm inside, as if the edge in the wind had suddenly disappeared. I murmured softly beneath my breath. Sairra's smile broadened and her hand reached out, clasping mine in hers._

_I could feel her steady, warm breath on my neck as she leaned against my shoulder lightly. I waited for a moment before pulling her back and looking straight into her eyes, penetrating them with my own. She reached forward, closing her eyes and I felt her soft, warm lips pressing against my own_

Oh, how well he remembered that night, that kiss. The way she'd leaned into his shoulder and clasped his hand in hers, as he'd wished once on a star. How the stars had seemed to twinkle down at them, as if smiling

_June Twenty-Fourth, 1927_

_The last day of Hogwarts. I woke up with tears in my eyes already. As I hurried down the stairs, I paused at the bottom. Saira was waiting for me, her eyes sparkling with emotion and her smile warm and comforting._

_I embraced her tightly and we intertwined our fingers together as we stepped out of the portrait hole. I kissed her gently on the lips as we walked down to the tables. The hangings were scarlet and gold and we smiled together._

_Professor Bayne raised his hands when everyone had entered, calling for silence. He smiled warmly down at all of us and made a closing speech. I wasn't even really listening. Saira looked more beautiful than she ever had. As if she sensed my thoughts, she squeezed my hand gently._

_"Dreams do come true," I whispered beneath my breath, squeezing her hand back and turning my gaze to the High Table._

_While we waited for the Hogwarts Express, I looked back at Hogwarts for the last time. The enormous castle, the swaying trees, the placid lake, and, the faintly glowing stars in the sky that had inspired me so much in the last seven years._

_I stepped away from the place that had been my inspiration, my dream, and my life for seven years. Dreams do come true._

Tears were falling freely from Dumbledore's eyes now, his trunk forgotten in the doorway. He turned the last page and, tucked in the back, was a fragile pink valentine and a dried rose. Dumbledore read the valentine's words one last time.

Below the fancy scroll, writing began to appear as if an invisible hand were writing upon it.

_Love always,_

_Saira_

A soft voice of the long forgotten whispered in his mind, "Love always," and he felt something brush his arm lightly in the empty room, the stars glimmering in the dark night outside.

Disclaimer: Only Saira is mine. Everything else belongs to Ms. Joanne Kathleen Rowling.


End file.
